#231: 7 Things Not to Say to Someone Who Just Got Dumped

1. He/she was ugly anyways
2. Ha, dude that sucks
3. Yea, I would've dumped you too
4. There's better fish in the sea
5. Sweet, cuz I was gonna ask you out anyways. So wanna go out?
6. Awww that sucks cuz your girlfriend was awesome. She was so pretty, funny, smart, nice, athletic, and amazing. You let a good one go this time
7. I hate to break it to you, but he/she never actually liked you.

#175: The Accountant's Garbage Bin

If I were to go through the garbage bin of an accountant, I'm sure I would find:

• Broken pencils, dead pens, dry markers, broken calculators, dead batteries, misprinted paper

If I dug deeper, I might find:

• McDonald's and Burger King wrappers, business cards of clients, pop cans, unwanted mail, paperwork that probably does not honestly give the government what they're due

If it was a male accountant:

• Scrapped March Madness brackets, fantasy football rosters, paper footballs, certain Sports Illustrated magazines that executives probably have trouble with their male employees over about once a year

If it was a female accountant:

• Used lipstick, discarded mirrors, chocolate wrappers, breath mints, various other makeup things, numbers that male clients might have written on the back of a receipt and slid across the table akwardly (don't be so quick to judge, maybe I'm talking about an account number)

#31: The Blue-colored Keyboard Brushes

Oh blue-colored keyboard brushes, you hang on your velcro rectangles on the computer tower with such dignity. Nobody ever uses you to clean the keyboard, but you don'y complain. You simply hang, neglected on the left side of the computer tower that faces the monitor. Your color is a nice translucent blue, but that doesn't matter. You could be made of beautiful stain-glassed windows and still no one would acknowledge your presence. There are two of you, one big and one small. I try in vain to discover the importance of your different sizes. Perhaps one is for the number pad while the other is for the letters that see their fair share of dirtying-up. Or perhaps one is for the monitor and the other for the keyboard. Sometimes I take you away from your velcro homes out of boredom, just to replace you without fulfilling your duty. What kind of life must that be? Only seldom do you touch the keyboard and even then you do not remove but the finest particles of grime or dead skin or whatever. You are graced by the words SEP Learning Center and just SEP. I don't even know what that stands for! If only I could undersatnd what you go through. All I know is that you came from a place that Ford Motor Company used to own for its employess and my dad picked you up for the simple purpose of cleaning our keyboard. My how you have been neglected. I will remember your toil from now on and provide the affection you have not received because of your living under the shadows of the brilliant monitor.

I'm just kidding, I really could care less. But hey, at least I gave you some positive exposure.

#7: 12 things to do when the power goes out

First off, here's a funny story. Actually it's not funny but it's true and coincidental...
This year, right when we started reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which by the way is 10,000 times better than Scarlet Letter, I downloaded the audiobook onto my Ipod (I'll take the extra credit for that now, Keirn:)). Anyways, the power went out as I was beginning to read, so I got out flashlights and a neon light that I hadn't installed in my car yet and began to read and listen to the audiobook with my parents via computer speakers. I read like 8 chapters that night (They're long chapters). Then we played the Monopoly card game around the coffee table, during which my mom injured her back. ....

Anyways:
1. Read
2. Freak out when the lantern that is never used because we never go camping is a.) nowhere to be found or b.)out of power and needs to be charged
3. Eat (always a solid choice to fall back on in case of any emergency)
4. Round up the crappy flashlights and have a family pow-wow in the living room
5. Listen to a transistor radio
6. Ipods dont need to always be plugged in! In your face, electriciy, you can try to stop us from listening to music, but alas, it is the 21st century
7. Sing (yea, I admit that's really cheesy and not what I would do, but its one more thing to add to the list). Although I might suggest Kumbaya for starters
8. Go outside and do something, even if its dark
9. Sleep
10. Call the neighbors and act really concerned even though the situation is totally out of your hands (yea grown-ups, that's you)
11. Flick the lightswitches every once-in-awhile just to make sure the electricity isn't fooling around with you
12. Live in your car for a few hours (although not flashy, this is probably very reliable as it provides lights and speakers and power, even if it means your car's battery dies the next day and you can't drive to school or work.... awww man)

It's really easy to love Thomas Edison but once the power goes off, try not to pull a Benedict Arnold on him. I'm sure he was a cool guy anyways, even if his invention isn't fool-proof

Rules

These are the rules that I live by every day. These are the rules I have learned to follow since the day I was born. They are the rules my parents have taught me:

• Look both ways before crossing the street
• Respect other peoples' property
• Treat others the way I'd want to be treated
• Follow the ten commandments
• Don't write on furniture or walls
• Don't smoke
• Don't drink
• Don't chew
• Don't go with girls who do
• Don't cuss
• Don't give "lip" to adults
• Don't watch The Simpsons
• Motion is two thirds of promotion (actually I got that one from a motivational poster on the ceiling of an MRI room but it's pretty good)
• Don't pick your nose, especially not in public
• Do homework before play
• Stick to your word
• WWJD- what would Jesus do?
• FROG- fully rely on God
• DOG- depend on God (and all those other churchy acronyms)
• Stand up for what you believe in
• Be careful what you see
• Be careful what you hear
• Don't store up all your treasures on Earth but instead in Heaven
• Love your neighbor as yourself
• Obey the curfew
• Don't eat all the chips in one sitting
• Millions of others.

These are the rules my parents should've taught me:

• Too much practice is never enough
• Don't argue all the time
• Don't write on the back of your tests when you finish before the rest of the class, especially if its something about the teacher
• Don't throw the dodgeball as hard at the girls
• Be more outgoing
• Don't load your schedule so much that you can't devote a large amount of time to sports
• Get a girlfriend early while they're not all taken and youre still one of 30 guys instead one of 1,000

My parents did a good job of instilling rules in my life from an early age and I'm very glad. Many times I think they are too strict and I'm sure my friends do to, but I am thankful and someday I will be more thankful. I know I will realize down the road that the choices I'm making now are only easy because of the strength of morals and rules I have learned. I won't be led down the wrong road and it will be easy not to.

I can only hope someday I can get to make the same rules for my child and feel what its like to make the rules that make life seem miserable but that are so worth it.

Unsure

I am unsure of....

• why people hate others
• why we need healthcare
• why some people can't take criticism form the media
• why America lets some things happen that it could've (should've) seen coming
• why I'm randomly making this a political commentary
• what I will do in life
• where I will go to college
• what is in my future
• what God has planned for me
• so many things but I still dont worry about them because I have faith that God will make things work out

Why does it matter what we are unsure of, when in the grand scheme of things, if we just have faith, all things will be ok. That's why I don't plan what I'm going to wear a day before I wear it. That's why I dont make decisions until the last minute (or maybe I'm just indecisive). That's why I know I have faith in God. So how does being unsure have anything to do with God? Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1)

Really good quote: Faith ain't easy to understand when a bird in the bush beats two in your hand. -Newsboys

Yes

I say yes to simple things in life like brushing my teeth and turning off the water when im not using it

I say yes to difficult things in life like doing homework and eating peas

I say yes to life in general (from the moment a child is conceived)

I say yes to eating lots of food during track and cross country, oh and every other time too

I say yes to wearing sweat pants and a tshirt

I say yes to hitting the off button on my alarm clock and forgetting to wake up until my mom yells at me

I say yes to being about 2 minutes late to everything (by default, not by choice)

I say yes to sitting in front of my computer thinking of things to say yes to

I say yes to sports

I say yes to going to bed before my howework is done....... to be continued